Am I?

Have i become indifferent to death but not to pain - somebody going to soon or not is not so much a bad thing, not so much a cry till i can't breathe thing, just them transforming.

Ok, so the timing of their death may not suit you; but will it ever? least you are their murderer. Coast to coast we can't stand the martyr so why question the father again and again ... when one experience ends doesn't another one begin? But i guess this is death so what we've learnt in life can never apply. We must reset our tears to let them flow, reset our fears to fit in with what everyone else is doing.

I guess i really am indifferent to death, the contextual 'ultimate freedom' but not pain or the pain it creates in others. What a blessing to experience life and a painless death.